Here’s to you, Iris Robinson

Here’s to you, Iris Robinson


Theresa May has jumped into bed with the DUP, despite the consequences this could have for the peace process in Northern Ireland. But who are they and what does the Democratic Unionist Party stand for? I wrote this a while back, but it illustrates the problems of mixing fundamentalist belief with politics.

Iris Robinson, wife of Peter Robinson, the First Minister in the Northern Ireland Assembly has proved herself to be a homophobe, a hypocritical Christian and a priestess of financial impropriety. She could learn a lot from her affair with a teenage butcher, argues Stewart Who?

Every once in a while a story comes along that ticks all the boxes with regards to drama, intrigue and poetic justice. As a gay with Irish Catholic roots, the current situation with Northern Ireland’s First Minister Peter Robinson and his wife Iris has proved a rollicking read.

Last year, Iris Robinson, previously the Democratic Unionist Party MP for Strangford, found herself investigated by police after complaints regarding comments she made in June 2008. Speaking to the Belfast Telegraph, she said: “I cannot think of anything more sickening than a child being abused. It is comparable to the act of homosexuality. I think they are all comparable. I feel totally repulsed by both.”


Iris Robinson

Pray the gay away

Robinson then appeared on BBC Radio Ulster’s Nolan Show and hinted that being gay was a form of mental illness. She said: “I have a very lovely psychiatrist who works with me in my offices and his Christian background is that he tries to help homosexuals – trying to turn away from what they are engaged in.

“I’m happy to put any homosexual in touch with this gentleman and I have met people who have turned around and become heterosexuals.”

In many ways, Iris Robinson is Northern Ireland’s Sarah Palin, but it’s the context of such quips that really highlights her Christian heart. They were in response to the news that a 27-year old gay man called Stephen Scott was left for dead in a violent homophobic attack in Newtownabbey, in her constituency.

Incitement to violence

Robinson’s lack of sympathy, in fact, her casual incitement to violence, led to such an avalanche of complaints that she faced the thin arm of the law. A police investigation examined claims that her comments breached hate crime laws, but no charges were brought. That’s what happens when you rely on the thin arm in a largely homophobic culture.

When the MPs expenses scandal broke, the Robinsons were caught with their sanctimonious snouts in the trough. They’d both tried to claim for the same £1,223 expenses on the same day. They also claimed more than £150,000 for the salaries of their staff, with Mr Robinson employing their daughter Rebekah as office manager and private secretary and son Gareth as parliamentary assistant.

Expenses scandal

Iris Robinson employed their other son Jonathan as office manager and daughter-in-law Ellen Robinson as part-time secretary. According to reports, the couple claimed the controversial second homes allowance last year, receiving a total of £40,342. They own three homes in Belfast, London and Florida worth more than £1.3million.

They spent almost £20,000 on flying between Belfast and London. Understandably, the press nicknamed them the Swish Family Robinson. It’s one thing to hold illiberal, possibly dangerous views, it’s quite another when my gay taxes go towards feathering the nest of a couple who’d be happy to see me ‘cured’ or kicked to death.

The financial revelations may have brought a wry smile to the battered face of Mr Scott, but more was on its way. Spotlight, a BBC Northern Ireland current affairs programme revealed that in the same month that Iris declared homosexuality an “abomination” she was herself revelling in the teenage flesh of a certain Kirk McCambley.


Peter, Kirk & Iris

Bonking the butcher

Aside from the adultery, it transpires that her young lover was the son of a local butcher who’d recently died. She offered a shoulder to cry on, a bed to romp in and no doubt got cheap chops to boot. On the BBC programme, Mr McCambley spoke about his relationship with Mrs Robinson.

He said: ‘I worked in the butchers since I was nine and I always seen her coming in and out. I knew her from a very early age through the butchers and through my dad.”

In many people’s eyes, bedding a kid you’d known since the age of nine would be described as ‘grooming’. The fact that she was in a position of power, a friend of the family and that the young man was grieving the death of his father might draw accusations of an abuse of trust, but let’s not dwell.

Nineteen year old boys (and girls) can be sexually confident, surprisingly mature and let’s admit it, occasionally quite attractive. One might even applaud the woman if she wasn’t (a) married (b) equating gays with paedophiles (c) planning to lend her lover £50,000 to kickstart his own catering business.


Teenage sausage

You’d think that her situation might give her an insight into sexual desire. Despite the fact that fiddling with the teenage sausage vendor might wreck her marriage, incur the wrath of God, devastate her husband, end her career, embarrass her family and it seems, potentially wreck the Northern Ireland peace process, she still couldn’t stop herself.

Yup, Iris, sexual desire can be hard to resist, even when it’s viewed as “abominable”. It’s called being human.  It isn’t a sign of mental illness. Sadly, this insight bypassed Mrs Robinson

Oddly enough, it’s the financial fiddling with the butcher’s kid which brought about her downfall. She persuaded two local developers to stump up the cash, and then asked for a £5,000 backhander. Not only that, when the relationship soured, she demanded all the money back, insisting it be paid via her local church for which her sister is pastor.


Kirk McCambley


Psychiatric treatment

Since then, there’s been an attempted suicide and now she’s receiving ‘acute psychiatric treatment’. What does that mean? Do you think she’s requested a cure…and that they’re making her into a homosexual so she doesn’t get into this kind of mess again?

Either way, Iris, here’s wishing you a speedy recovery from your propensity for corruption, abuse of power, hate speech, adultery and hypocrisy. We’ll be monitoring your progress and keeping an eye on your glass house full of stones.



There are 73 comments for this article
  1. Dylan at 4:46 pm

    We’d like to invite you for an interview atorvastatina tabletas 10 mg Washington remained more interested in negotiating a solution to the crisis than any form of military action. A U.S. diplomat told Reuters at the time: “This U.S. administration is extremely worried about falling into the regional trap and getting sucked into the Middle East, and with Syria they are facing a country that is very well-armed and they really don’t know what the consequences would be and for that reason they don’t want to get caught out.”

  2. Jesus at 5:47 am

    What’s your number? azelastine cvs Fathers with massive balls who have never changed a nappy could argue that they’re busy working and providing the money to buy the nappies, but the researchers also found that men with smaller balls did not do fewer hours in the workplace nor earn less. However, when men with large balls looked at pictures of their children in an MRI scanner, less of their “caring brain” lit up than men with small balls.

  3. Harland at 6:33 am

    On another call dose augmentin sospensione bambini 40 kg Still, storm clouds lie ahead for the third-largest by assets as rising bond yields in the United States areexpected to cut into debt underwriting volume, and slowinggrowth in emerging markets may cut into profit from overseas.About 58 percent of its revenue last year came from outside ofNorth America.

  4. Louis at 7:23 am

    Who do you work for? depo-medrol 40 mg/ml cena Among the apparent tricks were keeping frogs in a warm environment in order to better prepare the muscles to fire. Professional frog jockeys also followed a pattern of rubbing their frogs’ legs, dropping them onto the starting pad from a short height and then lunging at the frog headfirst to trigger its flight…

  5. Basil at 12:46 pm

    I’m doing a masters in law ibuprofeno gotas 100mg “Our meta-analysis, which is unique since it looks at the risks for breast and colon cancer while excluding all other causes of death, provides stronger evidence for the association between diabetes and the risk of developing and dying from these cancers. We want to make people more aware of this problem,” explained Dr Kirstin De Bruijn of the Erasmus University Medical Center in Rotterdam.

  6. Charlotte at 2:16 am

    I love the theatre karela amla juice benefits For anyone who follows Myanmar, the unprecedented domestic changes that have been witnessed since 2011 are nothing short of remarkable. The United States, to its credit, has welcomed these reforms and has made efforts of its own to start reaching out to a country that for many years was run by one of the most brutal and repressive governments in the world. Indeed, President Barack Obama has already made Myanmar one of his administration’s top foreign policy priorities in Southeast Asia.

  7. Salvatore at 2:31 am

    good material thanks nitrofurantoin 100 mg capsule Justice Samuel Alito, writing for a 5-4 Court, ruled in favor of the couple in June. Alito noted that Veronica was classified as an Indian because she is 1.2% (3/265) Cherokee Indian on her father’s side. But he said that Brown should not have been able to invoke the federal law in part because “he never had legal or physical custody of” Veronica. Alito noted that Brown had abandoned the child before birth.

  8. Lauren at 3:21 am

    Yes, I love it! furadantin 100 mg capsule Hauling a line of lobster traps goes like this: find the buoy making the line of traps (there’s a buoy on each end of the line). Each lobsterman has a differently colored buoy and Steve’s are orange with a blue stripe. Steve records where he drops each line, making returning to them easy. But he also says he knows exactly where all his traps are without looking at the notes. Once the line is located, Steve starts on one end, pulling the buoy out of the water and hooking the attached line to a winch. Soon, the first trap on the line has been winched up from the bottom of the ocean to the side of the boat. Steve pulls it onto a rail on the side of the boat, opens it, and begins sorting the lobsters inside. Rob joins him in sorting lobsters, and also re-baits the trap. Steve checks the size of each lobster in the trap — those that are too small are thrown back. Then he checks that there are no eggs on the lobster’s tail. If there are even one or two or if its been marked as once having had eggs — back into the water it goes. The result is that only a fraction of the lobsters caught are kept. Once the trap is emptied and rebaited, Rob positions it on the deck to go back into the water. The two men do all this quickly. One trap is done just as the next one on the line is pulled out of the water. Once all of the traps on that particular line are sitting on the boat deck, they are dropped back into the water to catch more lobsters.

  9. Isabel at 3:57 am

    Children with disabilities what is doxycycline hyc 100mg tablets used for This is the same party that proposed Obamacare – long before Obama got on board with it, and they even passed it in Massachusetts. Then as soon as Obama got on board with it, they renamed it after him, and their own proposal suddenly became worse than Communism and The Devil’s Manifesto, combined.

  10. Donnell at 3:14 pm

    Will I have to work on Saturdays? definition of prostaglandin analog Not exactly a rave review for such an expensive piece of meat, but there is still a lot of work to be done. According to Cultured Beef, it will be 10 to 20 years before this burger is ready for mass consumption. Still, Brin says in the video, while “it’s really just a proof of concept right now, from there I am optimistic we can scale by leaps and bounds.”

  11. Jefferson at 3:18 pm

    How do you do? ashwagandha inkafarma per The smart set-top box and dongle market is expected to pass 18 million units in 2013 – higher than originally forecasted due to the arrival of Google’s Chromecast device. Overall the market is expected to grow with a 10.8% CAGR (2013 to 2018) with less saturated and developing (from connected and OTT perspective) markets like Asia-Pacific and Latin America helping drive this growth.

  12. Cooper at 4:28 pm

    Have you got any ? ashwagandha meaning in bengali ‘I would strongly encourage those of you [councils] who have already signed contracts [with broadband providers] to arrange for the proposed coverage from your project to be published as soon as possible, and for those of you yet to sign contracts to incorporate it into your initial mobilisation activities,’ she wrote.

  13. Guillermo at 5:37 pm

    Did you go to university? ibuprofen amankah bagi ibu hamil “After two years, nothing has been achieved – we have a lack of drinking water, poor communications, an old hospital and buildings. The only thing we have is security,” Mohammed Ali Wakwak, head of the Zintan local council, said. “The government promises a lot but nothing has been done. Of course we are patient, we want to give the government a chance but the situation now is very serious.”

  14. Zachary at 1:56 am

    I’d like to open an account cloridrato de ciprofloxacino vencido ^ Love the wall, hehe. I would like to add, however, that a highly portable wrist mounted cardiac sensor capable of sending vital information to a secure mobile device (algorithm-based syncing) available at the users fingertips or even capable of automatically linking to a device and notifying emergency systems in case of cardiac distress would be a more interesting and probably more sound and profitable endeavor. Like that? Reverse-engineered the plan and produced one that makes more logical sense.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.